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Nanie Anansie

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Because I have nowhere else to turn to. [Nov. 27th, 2009|08:38 pm]
[Current Location |Beanbag]
[Emotion of the Day | aggravated]
[Choice Noise |The DJs talking too much.]

I'm tired of putting up Reluctant Walls. Of trying to subtly tell you how I feel through Facebook or YM status posts, of being witty and sweet with my texts with the mandatory smileys.



Or of looking at you whenever we talk, my eyes trying to beg you to understand, to reciprocate.




The plain truth is that I like you, and I hope whatever the fuck you're doing to me is a sign that you like me, too.


And not just a way of you taking care of your boredom.
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I'm with you and the stars are crashing through. [Feb. 25th, 2009|07:54 pm]
[Current Location |To the Left]
[Emotion of the Day | listless]
[Choice Noise |Look Into The Air -Explosions In The Sky]

I woke up this morning with a heavy feeling, like I've somehow managed to remain glued to the bottom a swimming pool. I don't remember, though, exactly what dream I had just escaped from a few seconds before I joined reality. All I know is that just like most dreams, it has nothing to do with my vertical life.


I sat through Media Studies class listening to my teacher's unmistakable gay-old-man tone. He was talking about period films and costumes and kulot-ng-noo; and somewhere in between his rants/lecture, I found myself lost in my own "accentless" thoughts.


Dreams. They happen as soon as our eyes shut themselves to the world and our body succumbs to the lure of slumber. It's supposed to be one anatomical massive photo-dump done by our head, to pave way for new memories. But the Neil Gaiman in me seems to think otherwise.

What if dreams are another reality, something similar to the one we go through when we're awake? And I say this not as a metaphor, but as something to be taken literally. And sleep, that action we seem to always gravitate to at the end of the day, could be the portal to the other realm. A realm where our deepest desires are made to be as tangible as the consciousness we live through, and our fears, inexistent as the balloon we've let go of and watched float beyond the clouds. Every ounce of pain imaginable can whispered to the wind, and slowly, we feel ourselves become weightless, even against the sheer placidity of the breeze. And our tears can be bottled up and thrown to the sea, where they become insignificant against the limitless waters.

Everyday becomes a cloudy Sunday afternoon, on a field of vast green, where time is standing as still as as the languor, as the trees sway to the occasional hymn of the zephyr.




And then death, perhaps, becomes the final portal, as we gaze beyond the cliff to the endless blue and simply let go, to the final reverie of our lives.
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Imagery through an irony. [Aug. 18th, 2008|03:00 pm]
[Current Location |Under a cloud]
[Emotion of the Day | curious]
[Choice Noise |U and Dat, E-40]

Imagine this.


I was on my way to the ATM outside Merville, when I saw the same old greasy hobo sweeping the street with a makeshift broom, just as he always has. Everyday. Since before I even came into existence.

At the ATM, the heavily perfumed girl in front of me seemed to be dealing with her account. And with each transaction, a receipt would appear. And one by one, she crumpled them, and threw them away. By her feet. On the bare ground.




The man, who people initially deem as filth on feet, is the one looking after the cleanliness of the world, before even starting with the state of his own skin.

And the woman, seemingly fresh from the shower, could not even keep her own filth to herself, even for a little while.





And we ask ourselves, why is the world slowly deteriorating?

Alas, the ironies in life.
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How can you see... [Jul. 14th, 2008|11:32 pm]
[Current Location |Inside of you!]
[Emotion of the Day | bouncy]
[Choice Noise |Inside Of You -Infant Sorrow]

...if you are blind?

-Infant Sorrow's Russell Brand


OMG WHAT. Hahahahaha! He makes me laugh so hard, I think I just lost 10lbs.

***

I just saw Amelie this afternoon, and must I say, Audrey Tautou is sooooo cute in the film! The story itself is quite enchanting, and yet the cinematography manages to make the movie stellar.

I am in love with French people! Fuck, I am addicted to their language!

***

My brain is currently on an ongoing journey to find itself. Right now, I believe it is caught at a crossroads, between sanity and fantasy.
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I've smelled fire, and it is EPIC. [Jun. 5th, 2008|01:23 pm]
[Current Location |TRALALALAND!]
[Emotion of the Day | Poopers]
[Choice Noise |Homecoming -The Teenagers]

For the past few minutes, I've been filtering through something I thought to be dead to me.

*Cue epic music.*

My LIVEJOURNAL account! Tada!

Reading all those angst and drama-ridden entries made me reminisce about the times when I've been struggling to find myself amidst numerous personalities in the shit hole that is college. And just as I've surrendered to the fact that fitting in was all I ever thought about, I realized that it might just have been my last attempt to cling on to every inch of the reckless child in me.

All the forces that surround us in college are somehow representations of how adulthood should be like. There are teachers, who can sometimes be idealistic pricks, students, who all represent different pieces of a very large jigsaw puzzle of a sky, and plainly off days, that throw you off for more shit that's about to commence in a short while.

I don't know if it's because I've succumbed to the idea that change is really inevitable, or maybe because I've subconsciously grown up... but I know I've definitely changed.

No longer have I had bouts of spontaneous "textual rage", and no longer have I rattled on and on to no end about the futility of love. But along with the inexistence of the aforementioned left the ability to make sense of the different seemingly small things in life. It's a sad thought that while I've accepted life in a place I used to escape from, I've also suddenly lost a huge sense of who I am.
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I love you, even if I shouldn't. [Jun. 5th, 2008|12:59 pm]
[Current Location |In midstare]
[Emotion of the Day | Hooha!]
[Choice Noise |Special Needs -Placebo]

Hello, LJ!

***

Not long back, my lolo and I were having lunch together with my mom and tita. We're a pretty close pair --my lolo and I. He's mentioned how I'm secretly his favorite granddaughter quite a few times. And that particular afternoon, he decides to throw a flaming ball in my face.

"You know I love you very much, but I sometimes don't like you."

Now there are times when I think that part of the reason we're very close is that we're very open to each other. But this time, he decided to underline, bold, and italicize the word brutally in being brutally honest. All I did was chew very slowly as not to drown out any word in the explanation that I knew was to follow.

"It's just that you don't text me anymore! You rarely text me, and when I'm with you, you're texting your friends!"

And we all know what's coming after that. A whole spiel about how I'm always particularly chattier and livelier when in company of my friends as compared to when I'm stuck with family. (In his defense, he was kind of referring to the other members of the clan.) The whole shebang; I'm sure you're acquainted with it, one way or another.

So I just sat there, as if nothing was really said, and waited until the topic was naturally changed. Of course, I didn't say anything in response to what just happened, because I know my family will be ready for some other kind of comeback. But that didn't mean I wasn't thinking of the perfect retort.

The quaint thing about our families, parents in particular, is that they believe our destinies are perfectly mapped out. They think that each pothole we go through, while cruising down the Autobahn in our metaphorical Bugatti Veyron (or Lamborghini; whatever suits you) is nothing compared to theirs, simply because they've already cruised past it before us. They will always think that they're having a much tougher time on the road, simply because their potholes have not yet been pointed out to them. And pointing ours for us makes them feel like we have no reason to bitch and moan because our maps have already been drawn. But rarely is gratitude on our minds whenever they find the chance to ask for it.

That is why it is always a little bit tougher to talk to family. They will always say, "We'll love/accept you no matter what, you can always talk to us". It is very much true most of the time, but that often doesn't seem the case when you find yourself dumped by the person you thought to be the love of your life. Try moping in front of them (assuming you're a teenager of course) and they'll somehow make you feel stupid for crying over nothing. I mean, sure, in the long run, it may have been kind of silly, but try experiencing it while you're right smack in the middle of the frenzy.

Of course it's easier for us to talk to our friends. Not because our families have forgotten how it's like to be teenagers, but mostly because they vividly remember how it was to have been stupid and semi-reckless, AND live through it. They will always have our best interests at heart, based on the rear view mirror. Just try telling them you were at a bar, dancing your ass off, until this guy, a really sweet blockmate you've always crushed on, suddenly becomes Mr. Smooth, lights you one, and takes shots with you. Your girlfriends will die and swoon over your cheesy one night romance, and ask if he's texted you the next day. Your parents, of course, will go straight to the smoking a joint part of the story.

Our families expect us to heed each and every advice they throw our way, because they know very well that whatever we're going through, they've already been through. They know that whatever they say is to make sure we don't wreck our cars because of reckless speed and nasty potholes.

But what they've forgotten, is that they've lived life not simply because they've actually always listened to their parents, but because they've experienced things themselves. Which is what they have to keep in mind each time we take that minor slip. (I say minor, not major.)

So with that in mind, I stood up as soon as we were done eating. I went to the kitchen and made my lolo my special hot chocolate he has always enjoyed.

I know he loves me, as I love him. And maybe a cup of cocoa will make him remember that consistent communication is not the only way of showing it.

***

Oh, so Paste = CTRL + V!
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It's been a while. [Jun. 18th, 2007|03:39 am]
[Current Location |In jeopardy]
[Emotion of the Day | crappy]
[Choice Noise |Some cheapass ear rape.]

After a long time of ignoring my lj, I find myself posting a new entry. Yay. To warm up, I shall bore you all (like I used to) and update you on things (you probably don't give a damn about).

Well, I never thought the time would come, but no longer can I call bantay bata to report some harassment done against me. Sigh. Statutory rape is no longer the case.

I am left with 2/4 wisdom teeth.

Barely survived 1st year in Ateneo. Hello, 2nd year. Fuck.

Had a long due sleepover at Michelle's. Shit happened thanks to intoxication. Things that were supposed to be clandestine became front page headlines. As the saying goes, when life gives you lemons, cut them up and have a tequila drinking spree.

And the rest is, as they say, blah blah blah.

So, how have YOU been doing?

***

As bluntly as possible, I do not get the whole idea of Havaianas. I'm not as one-track minded as I seem. I don't mind people going gaga over those pair of slippers. But what I really don't get, is why people choose to see beyond the fact that's lying right in front of them, or pun not intended, at their feet.

Havaianas aren't sandals. They're slippers.

I'm absolutely sorry to say, but the price doesn't prove anything (except that you're rich or bored enough to spend that much on a pair of tsinelas). No, it doesn't give you a free deck of "be excused from the SOM dresscode" cards. And neither does it give you the "visit the house of God" pass. The price doesn't do anything but give you a pair of invisible glasses that fool you into thinking what you're doing is justifiable because they're Havaianas. It's absolutely crazy how there was a time when people wouldn't be caught dead walking around the mall in simple tsinelas but are now even able to go to mass right after. The way things look like, it seems to me that if prices were to go up to at least 3k per pair, people would actually wear them to weddings.

But just to keep my disclaimer afloat, I think the designs are cute. As I said, I don't mind people buying them. Heck, even my boyfriend wears them. But my stand on the matter remains true, that a pair of slippers, no matter the price, will still be a pair of slippers.

Just to keep things clear, it wouldn't be fair to say I'm anti-Havaianas. Because I'm not. I'm also not for the idea of those plain tank tops from Mango with "MNG" written at the back. I really don't understand why people would pay a fortune to parade around being walking advertisements for brands THEY PAID FOR to walk around in. Now that is crazy.

People. Why spend to advertise them? It seems like THEY should be paying YOU.

 

Splurging on things isn't bad. Just be sure that whatever you buy is worth the money you're burning.

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Let me light you a fag. [Jan. 25th, 2007|12:51 pm]
[Current Location |In your dreams.]
[Emotion of the Day | sleepy]
[Choice Noise |7/4 (Shoreline) -Broken Social Scene]

Yosi.

Let me light you one. Watch the tip burn, and watch the smoke come to life. Puff to resurrect, blow to forget. All the problems that are constricting your heart, all the worries that are making your stomach churn... forget. Get lost in the now, in the stick you hold in between your fingers. Puff in, and feel the smoke fill your lungs. Blow out, and watch everything just fade away. Drop ashes, feel the cigarette get lighter; smaller. Watch small embers slowly die. Watch the smoke get lost in the wind. Forget, forget. And when you finally feel the burn on your lips, and in the smoke you take in, kill it. It's time to let it go.

Walk away, with little comfort in knowing that you controlled it. Through some representation, you had power on everything that made life so worth unliving, and that in between the concrete and your shoe, you killed it.

Walk away with ignorance, in the fact that even long after you've consumed it, its presence is slowly consuming you from within.

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I bid thee farewell. [Dec. 31st, 2006|12:48 pm]
[Current Location |The Bottomless Pit]
[Choice Noise |Fireworks]

I remember the ride to St. Scho that day so clearly. I was sitting alone in front, so that my Gala won't get dirty or wrinkled. I was looking out the window, thinking to myself,

I've spent 10 years of my life in this place. All the experiences, all the activities, all the fun, laughter and tears will all become memories.

My heart ached that day, but no tears fell from my eyes. Not that it was easy to let go, but because I knew I was starting a new journey. I was not leaving the past, but concretizing them in my head. Just as we put precious little gems or whatnots in boxes to preserve them, I was smiling back at what was, and closing my eyes to visit, for the last time, the reverie of that time.

I find myself feeling the same thing today, the last day of 2006.

2006 has been good to me. Sure, there were (A LOT of) bumps along the way (Good bye UP. Sigh.), but the road was mostly built with good asphalt. Hahaha. ;) This is the year that will forever be special to me, because it weaves 2 very important moments in my life; highschool and college. I had the opportunity to say good night to the people I grew up with, and say hello to the people I may continue to grow in love with. :)

This year, I fell in love.

With 5 beautiful girls I call my English Friends. Without you 5, my life would've been hell. And probably grammatically, a failure. HAHA. :p

With 4-H, the hottest section in the batch (and of course, the hottest of 'em all, NANAY!). The reason why my high school life has been a great big rock concert. :) And I thank some of you specifically (Ice, Maux, Jaja...) for letting me in your lives and letting me love you. I cannot thank you enough.

With Block P, the weirdest block in the world. Laughter is the best medicine.

With Toni, Patty, and Yeny, 3 of my new found closest friends. College is fucking stressful, and you guys make every day easier. Enough said. :)

With Ka-te and Teppie, 2 people I never really knew I'd talk to after HS (because we never really talked to each other back in HS). But thank you for letting me bug you during, before AND after PE. I do miss us. :p

With Dave, Ben, Migen, and Kate (including Ka-te, Ka-te time is still the greatest!), Ka-te's funky found friends. I remember thinking, "Shit. College will kill me." And then I met them. And now it's, "Shit. They will kill me. COOL." Thanks for the fun times. :)

The doctor, for the free consultation! Hahahaha. And for letting me get to know you as a person, and not just as Sir Doc. :)

With Kim, Amanda, and Macky, for making the dorm life easier. And for feeding me. Oh, and for letting me bug them. ;)

With Marts and Josh, for letting me let lose and just laugh and enjoy. :)

With Crisette and Ro-an, for letting me get to know them better, and for letting me fall in love with them even more. :) Katipunan luncheons are the best. Crisette, Prince David na!

With Chinx, for getting the fun started! One of the "realest" people I've ever met. Yosi time is Chinx time! :) Oh and that among other things... hahaha. SEXY TIME!

With Dino. :)

I've met a lot of new people this year, and rediscovered some more. And I thank you all for making me fall in love with you. :) But there are also some people with whom I didn't need to fall in love with anymore, because they've remained a constant with me since time in memorial.

Nini, even if I don't get to express it anymore, I still think you are my bestest friend. I'm just here, and always will be. College, or anything else for that matter, is not going to break us apart.

Jamie and Kylie, I don't get to see you guys that often anymore (especially compared to 4th year!). And even if you've got your own sets of friends, please do remember that I love/will love you MORE THAN THEY ALL DO. Combined. Hahahaha. Hay nako. I don't know what else to say. I just love you guys so much. :)

My Gr. 6 kada (with the addition of a few new faces), you guys know who you are. I am who I am because of you. :)

My 2-A people. Again, you guys know who you are. Thank you for giving me a chance. I <3 and miss you! :)

The orch, the artists and musicians, for all the fun, fun, fun times. You never fail to put the FUN in FUNKY during michelle's get togethers! Haha. :D You all taught me to enjoy innocent fun. Such real people. I love you. :) (Woohoo Antomapa, first wives club forever!!!)

And of course, Babsy and Paula. Nako, thank you for visiting me. Haha. Pero shit, HS is a GREAT memory because of you guys. :D

 

2006 was, and is, great. I can't wait to get started with 2007, especially since I know I'll be kicking it off with the greatest people in the world. :)

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Stolen from Beiai! [Dec. 26th, 2006|04:27 am]
IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie!

Opening credits:
Anna Molly -Incubus

Waking Up:
Teasing To Please -Cute Is What We Aim For

First Day At School:
Can't Get You Out Of My Head -Coldplay

Falling In Love:
Tighter Noose -Abandoned Pools (HAHAHAHAHAHA.)

Fight Song:
Moana -Deftones

Breaking Up:
Irreplaceable -Beyonce (Oh hell yeah.)

Prom:
Walang Kadala-dala -Sandwich

Life:
Agua de Beber -Astrud Gilberto and Tom Jobim

Mental Breakdown:
Love Is A Fast Song -Copeland

Driving:
Waves -Marjorie Fair

Loving that special "one":
Without You Here -Finch

Flashback:
Simon -Lifehouse

Getting back together:
The More You Ignore Me -Morissey

Losing your Virginity:
Vampires Will Never Hurt You -My Chemical Romance

Wedding:
AROUND THE FUR -DEFTONES

Birth of Child:
Soul Bossa Nova -Herbie Hancock

Anniversary:
Friday I'm In Love -The Cure

Final Battle:
We Will Become Silhouettes -The Postal Service

Death Song:
The Bitter End -Placebo

Funeral Song:
Mourning Air -Portishead

End Credits:
Learn To Fly -Foo Fighters
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Oh how blatantly Nanie. [Dec. 23rd, 2006|10:32 am]
[Current Location |Somewhere away from him.]
[Choice Noise |Thinking Of You -A Perfect Circle]

I don't care if this is too fast.

I don't care if this seems so surreal.

I don't care if this seems untrue.

I don't care if this is not me.

 

I don't care about what you think.

 

All I know is...

 

I love him.

 

 

 

 

 

And that's all that matters. :)

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HELP ME! [Dec. 19th, 2006|08:31 am]
[Emotion of the Day | bitchy]
[Choice Noise |Urbandub, or lack thereof.]

I lent my Urbandub CD to someone. The latest one. The signed-by-the-whole-band one.






AND I CAN'T FUCKING REMEMBER TO WHOM I LENT IT.





HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Did I lend it to YOU?


Fuck this, it's really killing meeeeee! :((

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Home is where the heart is. [Dec. 16th, 2006|08:45 pm]
[Current Location |In your head.]
[Choice Noise |Home -Depeche Mode]

Fuck fuck fuck. I've been trying to download Home by Depeche Mode for the loooooooooooooooooooooooongest fucking time. But limewire kinda hates me, so there are always no sources for that song. Boo. But I'm now happy because I now have Home. After trying to download all the "Homes" that came up (Which amounted to about 5. Must not be a popular song. Haha.) I finally got to get one. Yay! Snaps for whomever the source was.

"And I thank you, for bringing me here. For showing me home. For singing these tears. Finally I've found that I belong here." --Home, Depeche Mode

***

I've been wanting to get home since yesterday (Friday). Gah. Especially since I was looking forward to another pancake session with the girls. But no cabs were in sight. And it was fucking traffic. So I decided to stay in katipunan. Plus this way, I could actually study.

Abuelita sent the maid to the dorm to give me my allowance. She also sent me a note. It was... different. If you guys know how my relationship with her is like, then you'd be so surprised after reading the note. I'm not an emotional person (especially to my family). But that note made me reply.

"I love you, abuelita. Please watch what you eat. And please hug Tian-Tian for me."

Sigh. I miss my brother. :(

***

Was supposed to meet up with Dino at Bo's at around 4pm, but I fell asleep. Was an hour late. It was worth it though, because I was extra sweet daw. Hahahaha. I'm kinda like that when I wake up from a good nap.

Segue: If you guys'll notice, every time there's a sleepover, I'm always nice and "good morning!" when I wake up. Or at peace camps. Or during the retreat.

So he was teasing me that each time I'd start getting crabby, he'd just tell me to go to the car and go to sleep. (Funny if this happens in front of his friends!)

Situation X

Me: Fuck this! Fuck that!

Dino: Why are you like that? Go to the car nga and sleep!

Me: (After 15 mins.) Hey everybody. :) (hugs him from behind)

Nyahahahahaha. Fat chance.

***

I SAW JAQ ESQUIVIAS IN SEATTLE'S BEST COFFEE. <3 <3 <3

Hmm. Mr. Hotstufffff. Yessssssssssss.

    =  

What a happy day it was for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

(Shit, I hate being tied down. HAHAHAHA. Joke lang.)

 

Pucha, then after a few minutes, Baki (I'm not sure) comes in. Hello, Whatevuritakes. :) I love you!

***

We had a talk over yosi and shit. He told me he really had a crush on me back when we saw each other in Taft, before Michelle's Halloween shindig. It was my sarcastic way daw of eating my burger. (I had stitches in my mouth, couldn't really open it wide enough for my burger to fit.)

:)

(I told him something kanina that made him smile. Not quite an "I love you" yet, but it made him smile.)

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Why? [Nov. 29th, 2006|01:52 am]
[Emotion of the Day | quixotic]
[Choice Noise |Some fuck music.]

Answer me, bitch. WHY?!

Hahaha. Yehes naman.

***

I went to the UP health center this afternoon. Rode a motherfucking jeep! Ain't that a kick in the head.

Let's leave it at that. Don't wanna talk about it.

***

Had our first MATH 19 LT this afternoon. Holy shit, I LOVE MATH! Math is my bitchy poo.

(But then again, I have my masochist tendencies...)

Gah. Why can't you love me back?

***

I was with Rosa earlier this evening (?) or afternoon. Haha. First time I've smoked around 10 fags in one sitting. Punyeta, I think my body was surprised. Actually, I think my lungs were REALLY surprised. Hmm. In 8 words,

"Ako yung umiinom, bakit ikaw yung parang lasing?"

Pare. Happy times lang. Happy times.

I started burning this plastic wrapper with my fag. And it melted away at the places which were subjected to the heat. It changed. It became deformed...

Plastic, still. But useless nonetheless.

--So. What is love?

***

I force fed myself today. Twice, actually. Once this morning, with DELICIOUS Chicken Gambas from the caf. Delicious, I tell you. But no. Three spoonfuls and I was full. Why??

Second time was this afternoon, with Ginataan. Bleah. A few spoonfuls, and I was ready to barf.

Appetite, why must you elude me?

(I am an anorexic, minus the desire to be a skinny bitch.)

***

My correction fluid-looking nail polish on my fingernails are chipping off. I am deeply disheartened. I've set aside some time in my busy busy schedule (pronounce it as shedjul) to mourn. Sometime between 7:00am - 7:23am tomorrow, I shall shed a tear.

***

Freakos, check my YM avatar out. It's so HOT. Nyaha.

***

I want a movie with UNICORNS!

***

Dude. Borat. Pucha.

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1/2. [Nov. 15th, 2006|02:04 pm]
[Emotion of the Day | crushed]
[Choice Noise |Ladida.]

Today, I needed... I FELT SO ALONE.

Today was not one of them :) days. Today was not one of them :/ days, either. Today was one of them :'( days.

I needed a hug. :(

I got a few mediocre hugs, but they weren't as good. So I had to go get some extortionist ice cream to make me feel better. But still...

I needed my friends. I needed you guys. I needed you.








Just when I thought, this is hopeless...

...Ka-te meets up with me. And we go to Dencio's. And my day kinda ended well... :)



Hey Kate. Thank you. Though you didn't know how fucked my day was, you managed to make everything better. I think you ought to know how thankful I am for the Kate time. :) And thanks to Migen, Dave and Ben for the extra flavor. Hahaha.

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Hear me ROAR, motherfucker! [Nov. 13th, 2006|11:23 am]
[Current Location |Everything online, party!]
[Emotion of the Day | sleepy]
[Choice Noise |Bachelorette -Bjork]

"Protect me from what I want." -Placebo

Yes. Please do.

***

So. Classes have commenced. Can you sense I'm so overjoyed? Can you feel it? Can you hear my excited squeals? Can you see my smile? No? That's probably because I'm NOT.

Monday IS A BITCH. Seriously. 6 motherfucking classes. What sweet love. PE aka table tennis (smaller version of lawn tennis! Hahaha.), Intac (Do I hear overcut?), Business Calculus (OH OH OH! You know what else? I'll be getting this 5x a week! YAY!), Pinoy (This, I'm seriously anticipating. Haha. Read on to know why.), English and Lit. (I have nothing to say about the latter 2, since I cut those classes. HURRAH! Off to an early start? :)) )

There. My jam packed monday. So whenever you mofos get up every monday and try to bitch and whine about how you hate mondays, think of me.

Pinoy. I forgot the name of our teacher, but he is THE SHIT. HAHAHAHAHA. He curses like hell! Tangina! He's so kupal! I LOVE HIM! :D

"Parang yung kanta ng Sponge Cola. Yung Bitiw. 'Wag kang bibitiw bigla...' Saan? Hah? Ano yun? Tangina. Ang labo."

I dunno what came over him, since Sponge Cola is or was an Atenean band, or a band with Atenean members. Hahahaha.

He also dissed Parokya ni Edgar. Can you smell the school spirit?

BUT. He commended the Eraserheads. He quoted one of their lyrics and mentioned how sensible it really was.

And he likes dissing the government. HAHAHAHAHA.

Can you see the pattern? No? Let me enlighten you.

UP AT HEART ang gago.

Ay. Kaya naman pala I like him.

***

87.5%

 

 

 

 

 

...Represents the chance of me transferring to UP next year.

(I'd like to say more about my heart beating for UP, but I think I'm gonna keep those thoughts for another entry.)

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Let's play a game. [Nov. 7th, 2006|12:54 pm]
[Emotion of the Day | CONSTIPATED.]
[Choice Noise |...]

Get your iPod (or any mp3 player) and put it on shuffle. Answer which song corresponds to the following numbers and next to it, the first thoughts that come to mind when you hear it.

7 Closer, Nine Inch Nails -Fuck anthem, ala Da Vinci Code

29 Hit Me Baby One More Time, Weezer -A masochist's love song

37 Minerva, Deftones -Well thank God for that song. Hahahaha.

11 Secretly, Skunk Anansie -Infidelity + Lust = Party.

9 Bossy, Kellis -Oh hell yeah! All girls should know this by heart. The feminist theme.

53 Five Years, Sugar Hiccup -For the mother who's going crazy looking for her child. (Props to my cousin who's haunting the people with her voice!)

***

Have you ever felt the sensation of falling freely? Have you ever tried jumping off a cliff?

Well I have. And nothing beats that feeling.

It's like for a few seconds, you're airborne. Nothing can touch you. Nothing can hurt you. You're free. For a few seconds, everything seems more worthwhile. The world is yours.

With the obvious absence of wings, you are flying.

(Doesn't it seem like you've actually achieved the impossible?)

At that moment, you feel like nothing is pulling you down. It feels like gravity is inexistent.

(It's ironic how people around you can disprove that.)

But even if it seems so apparent that you're floating your way to nothingness... to infinite bliss...

You land, feet first, in water. And sadly, the longer you've floated, the more intense the pain will be after crashing into the water.

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Let's Bleed. [Nov. 7th, 2006|12:49 pm]
[Emotion of the Day | exanimate]
[Choice Noise |Spitting Games -Snow Patrol]

as the first game ends in every UAAP season la salle's drums strat rumbling to the tune of "Go La Salle!"... the crowd roars and cheers along with the ever so great pep squad and rims around the so-called green and white pom-poms (aka strips of crepe paper on barbecue sticks) - this is the Animo Spirit, real... genuine... TRUE.

just a few hours ago i was dawned with the shade of green on the hardcourt (as i would remember nanie telling me during our ecstatic phone conversation) i seriously got goosebumps and my heart pounded with excitement and anticipation. I miss lasalle, so much... so darn much. then i realized i couldn't stop smiling and i started cheering along as loud as i could, i loved it... i loved the hype... you could imagine me, being deprived of something as good as lasalle basketball and here it was right in front of me.

i realized right then and there that i do not belong to the university i am in now. i do not even deserve to be in it. i just wanted something simple, simple yet genuine. i loved lasalle and i still do, call it an undying obsession or whatever you may wish.

it was hard not to avoid thinking to myself painful, very agonizing questions. would my life have changed if i did study along taft? would things be different? i remember during senior year i'd always joke to eds that when oj and i become an item she'd be the first person i'd call to tell, i saw oj on the screen and my heart sank. what would it feel if i cheered the dlsu chants as a true lasallian? how would every loss and win feel if i were a lasalista?

pain.

it's really hard to face it, there is so much more to this issue than what you see or what i tell you, there is just so much more (right bongy?). i never chose my university, they did. it hurts so bad knowing that somehow i have no right to feel the animo spirit even if deep down inside i know i bleed green, i have and will always will.

-Jamie Chan

***

I feel your pain.

For months now, I've been trying to convince myself that I do and I should bleed blue. But each time I cut myself, maroon is what comes out.

The sunken garden, the street food, the jeepneys... from everything my titas recount to me, to some things I myself have experienced...

(To me) Somehow, trikes and caf food and CTC walkways will never measure up to them.

I was rereading Catch A Falling Star a few days ago, and I couldn't help but notice how UP-ish the book sounded and felt like. Particularly the "How I Spent My Summer Vacation" chapter.

I live with an Atenean in Katipunan. I walk to and from school with Ateneans. I eat and breathe with Ateneans. I scream with Ateneans. I hang out with Ateneans.

But why do I still feel like a Skolar?

***

Watched DLSU play this afternoon. OH WOW! I've missed them. :)

GO LA SALLE!

Ty Tang. <3
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The glass is half empty. [Nov. 3rd, 2006|12:10 pm]
[Emotion of the Day | complacent]
[Choice Noise |We ride -Rihanna (this is sad.)]

I went back to the dentist for a check-up. The 2nd surgery was scheduled for today, but we decided not to push through with it since the other one is still open. (Can't even open my mouth properly yet!) So he just took out the stitches. If he weren't nice, I would've bitch slapped him and said, "Hey bastard, please keep in mind, I'm not anesthetized anymore!"

But he's nice. So hurrah.

***

WILEY! JOINT PARTEEEEEEH! :D

***

My sembreak has been so empty... Sigh of all sighs. (Sans the HALLOWEEN PARTY! :D)

***

Went grocery shopping with abuelita this afternoon. I've definitely mastered the art of being sneaky. ;) (When I put some stuff in the cart while I thought she didn't notice, she turns to me and asks, with a sneakier smile, "What have you been sneaking into the cart?" Oh oh oh. My lola si shneaky keaky.) Once again, we went home with boxes and boxes of MY shit.

And we wonder why I'm so fat.
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Post surgery talk. [Oct. 30th, 2006|01:09 am]
[Emotion of the Day | Yeah, whatever.]
[Choice Noise |Hedonism -Skunk Anansie]

...but you also have to realize that NO ONE CARES.

***

Since the whole tooth thing, I haven't eaten a decent meal. Because 1. I can't open my mouth, and 2. Chewing is a bitch. So getting a tummy ache is natural.

(GAS! FUCKING GAS! I've never wanted to fart or burp so badly before. HAHAHA!!!)

Anywho, while watching "Skeleton Key" on HBO last night, I asked my yaya (who's now my bro's yaya since Nanie is too old to have a nanny) to massage my tummy with some eficacent oil (err, not sure about the spelling, but you get it --it's the minty stuff).

My yaya: Ang tigas ng tiyan mo. Bakit matigas? Akin, malambot...

(You have flabs, where as I have ABS! --hahahahahahahahahahahaha. I WISH.)

My abuelita went to waltermart and brought me home some goodies from Delifrance. What a meanie. Nothing fits my mouth.

Oh, I can't find my shirts! Fuck the dorming life. My clothes have gone missing.                                                                         

Dear shirts... I will find you.

***

Pray for happiness from... Puss, in Boots.

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